The year our lives changed
2017 was an epic year for our family. In order to properly tell you why, I need to back up…...way up!
A bit of background to get us started. It was June 2011, our family had 4 children at the time, we had barely begun to build a brand new home, and we had little to no debt. We did not live lavishly, but we were trusting God in all areas of our business and He always provided.
Being self employed always seemed to have the feeling of instability about work and pay and the future. My husband and I started to wonder if a “traditional” job would be a better choice for our family. We also wanted a change in scenery do to life being a bit trying in some areas. We decided to start praying about moving.
My husband truly desired to be back in the south and I was all for the warmer weather. NY winters were rough! Then it happened. There was a job in MS that appeared to hold all things we desired.
The job offered a great paycheck. One that made our eyes twinkle. We prayed through every single circumstance as it arose to make sure we were doing God’s will. As we prayed, every door seemed to open for us and we made the big leap to move. Funny how some things happen….but I will get back to that in a bit.
So, in June 2011, we walked away from the house we were building in NY and made the move to MS. This choice did not seem that difficult for us…..little did we know….but again, we will talk about that later! The hubs started a job for a natural gasline in MS. We were renting a home and the hubs did not like that at all. He wanted his own property to do what he wanted with so fast forward a bit and we ended up buying a house. Did I mention that after moving to MS my van that was all paid for quit. Yup, enter a new vehicle.
We went from our “unstable”, self-employed, debt free living in NY to a “stable” job and all kinds of debt in MS. Sounds great, doesn’t it?! Did I mention that we still owned a home in NY. So two homes to pay upkeep on and taxes. Our finances were anything but “stable”. This was just the beginning.
As we continued living in MS, we began to learn the value of our self-employed lifestyle all too well. Since my hubs worked for someone else, they had the ability to send him all over to travel for work. Many times this was at the last minute. My four children and I would learn what it was like to live without daddy around quite a bit. This became lonely, especially for me without any family.
This new “stability” brought along a few other surprises like a massive decrease in my husbands health. He had always dealt with migraine headaches 1-2 times a month, but in MS that all changed. Between the toxic chemicals he worked around, the massive use of computers, the inability to control his work hours and work environment, and the stress his migraines skyrocketed.
I was praying and begging God for answers. None of this made any sense. We prayed this through ahead of time and God ALLOWED it. That would be the key as this journey continued.
In August 2012 we decided to make our first trip back to NY since we had left. We would be going “home” for two weeks for vacation. My kids were elated as was my entire family. The trip back would become a pivotal moment in our lives!
We went back to our home which was so empty and bare. The hubs decided he could not be still and bored for two whole weeks so he borrowed a friend’s yard tractor to do some landscaping at the house. Throughout these two weeks many events happened but I will only tell you of two very important and eye opening events.
The first would be the simplest of days. My daughters and I were just walking around our property and enjoying the trees and scenery as everything in MS was flat. We had missed the beauty of NY and the scenes of the mountains. We sat down on the grass in the backyard and my girls began to lament over “their house” daddy had started to build them. They were chatting about how they would never live in it and how much they missed their yard and trees. I was brought to tears as I still am right now as I type this. I begged God, “Why”?
A few days later the hubs and my dad were working on the landscaping in the front yard. My dad had Big Red gum in his mouth. One of my girls asked him for a piece. I told her that she would not like it and she really shouldn’t ask for it. She continued to beg. I told here again that it would burn her mouth and she was REALLY not going to like it, but she still begged. So I finally told my dad he could give her a piece and she would have to learn on her own. She put the gum in her mouth and was screaming and spitting it out within seconds. BINGO!
I swear, I heard the audible voice of God say to me, “Daughter, you did not want to heed my advice and I gave you what you wanted anyway. I know it “burns” but you had to learn on your own.” WHAT?!?!?!?!?! I instantly understood the entire journey! You see, my husband and I had our eyes set on what we wanted and although we were asking God for guidance He felt the best way for us to see what we had was to experience the loss of it. We desired a different path in life than what He provided. In tears, my answer was “Ok God, now what?”
When those two weeks came to an end, the hubs and I had much to consider. We had thoroughly talked through everything and just didn’t know where to go from here. I was ready to pack up and move back to NY. The hubs said NO. What?!?! You see, being the provider that he is, he couldn’t see that as feasible. And, in our lives, many times God tends to give me a vision before he reveals it to the hubs.
Getting into the car to come home from that trip was the hardest thing I had ever done. My husband has rarely asked much of me, but in that moment what he was asking was far more than I was willing to give. I questioned my marriage and every choice we had made at this point. I knew that God would not bless me if I was not obedient to His plans and that meant submission to my husband even when everything in me said no.
I cried as we pulled out the driveway of our home. I hung my head so no one would see and cried tears of severe pain. I silently begged God to make it stop hurting. I begged Him for answers. I begged for peace. THEN…..I opened the glove box for a tissue. Out fell an envelope.
My mom hand hidden an envelope full of money in the glove box. In it was a letter. She wrote how everything would be okay and that God had a plan. She also said that she trusted my husband to make the best choice for our family and I had to also, even when it hurt.
This may seem like no big deal….BUT…..I never told her about our financial problems, about our marriage issues, or ANYTHING. Good Christian wives don’t talk about this stuff with anyone but their husbands, yet, God gave her just the right words. I bawled, yet I had peace.
On the second day traveling home I was looking online through job openings in NY. I found one for a local university needing a maintenance electrician. In the car, sitting next to my husband, I applied him for the job without him ever knowing it! This is September and I was ready to be back in NY before winter!! Oh, how God has a sense of humor.
When we got back to MS life went back to normal but my husband really started to notice a change in myself and my children. Everyone had become quiet and reserved. It seemed there was little enjoyment anymore. God used this to start speaking to his heart. He finally told me in November that he missed NY and we should start to pray about what we could do about that. I had already been praying and searching for jobs.
We knew that God would take us back so we began to prepare for that without telling anyone. I started to pack the house not even knowing the when or how. Joy came back to us all as we prepared for what we were believing God would do.
In December I received a call from the university. They wanted an interview with the hubs. Oops, kinda forgot about that. So, now I had to explain to him that he had an interview in NY for a job he never knew he applied for. Again, we prayed through every step. He went for the interview and we heard nothing!
February came and another phone call. The job offer! I was ecstatic UNTIL I heard the details. Hubs would need to start in 24 days, the pay would be less than ⅓ of what he was currently making, and remember this is moving an entire family and all of our belongings from MS to NY in the middle of the winter.
The hubs and I decided it made no good sense whatsoever, but it was what we prayed for. February 2013, we put the MS house on the market and packed the vehicles and moved. We each drove a vehicle and all the kids and belongings for three days through some of the worst weather I have ever seen to get home.
As with all paths God takes us on, this was not easy. Over the next 3 years our lives would go through some of the toughest battles. We would forclose on the MS house, sell that new van and drive a 1980s piece of purple junk that barely started, live on food stamps, and the hubs would work a job he hated to get by.
As my husbands health declined, he decided to return to self employment as a way to work around his “head issues” and try to get us out of the hole we had created. We did start to make progress in our finances. Then, we found out that my husbands father had cancer. The next three years would have my husband traveling back and forth to MS to care for his dad many, many times.
Although we were happier things looked rough. We still trusted God and kept moving forward. We made plans to move his dad to NY to care for him and in the process we racked up even more debt. But, we felt that God required us to care for my father in law no matter what the cost. We decided this was our only option and moved forward with what God asked.
Well, little did we know that God had another plan. He never intended for us to care for my father in law, He merely wanted to know that we had come to the end of ourselves and were willing to trust Him!
In Dec 2016 my husband traveled to MS for what was to be the last time. The plan was to move his dad to NY on this trip. God had other plans. God chose to take my father in law home during that trip and he never made it to NY.
The beginning of 2017 was looking rough. We were severely in debt, still living on food stamps, and the hubs health was steadily declining. He had a cabinet full of every prescription cocktail available for migraine headaches. Some to prevent them, some to stop them, and some to get him through the pain. My husband had become a walking zombie. We lived in the dark and were constantly having to be quiet. We had tried every treatment possible--nothing worked!
I decided I would make one last ditch effort! I bought a Young Living Essential Oils kit. I had learned that chemicals could be the cause of the headaches and I decided that it was worth looking into. I could spend more money on prescriptions or on oils. I went with oils and loads of research.
I began to get every toxic chemical out of our home to include the prescription meds. We began to see small changes. I was amazed. Very small changes, but changes nonetheless. After more research and the wonderful oil community I was a part of, I caught a vison to make this not only a lifestyle but a business venture as well. We had a strong desire upon our hearts to support a ministry that we knew we could not financially support by our current means. I prayed and told God that I would try this Young Living business and if He chose to bless it, I would use it to bless this ministry. I am not saying that Young Living made us rich and healthy by any means, but it definitely changed our lives!
My husbands head continued to get better as I got rid of chemicals and then began to support his wellness with some great products. We were blessed with some amazing job opportunities for our business and because my husband felt better, he could work more. Over the next few months we would decrease his headaches from 20 a month to one or two. He began to work again!
Our self employed business began to thrive immensely. My husbands health increased daily. Our Young Living business also slowly started to grow. We actually could bless this ministry that was strongly upon our hearts! Then God opened the floodgates!
In 2017 we were able to pay off all of our debt from the MS trips and the prep for my father in law. We were able to pay off a newer van that we had bought. We were able to get off food stamps and buy healthier food at the same time. We were able to set aside an emergency, savings, and vacation funds.
We are not only trying to survive and live day to day anymore. Now we have dreams, goals and visions for our family. Our family word for 2018 is Freedom. We will consciously pray and make choices to teach our family what freedom from debt and sickness feels like. The future looks so bright!
I do not write this to toot my own horn. None of this was possible without God! His hand has been orchestrating our journey from day one. Even when we were stubborn and ignorant, He still was in control!
I write this for the following reasons:
- To give God all of the glory in this amazing journey he has blessed us with
- To encourage any of you who are currently stuck in a hard place financially, in your marriage, or in loneliness. God is still in control!
- To encourage any of you that are sick. We dealt with debilitating sickness for 15 years before we saw a light at the end of the tunnel. I believe God can and will heal! I also believe that sometimes He uses sickness for a greater purpose. Know that our timing is not His timing.
- And finally, to encourage you to pray in God’s will and truly let your own will go. When we pray to God while still holding on to our own agenda, the results may be a lesson that is very painful.
Comments
Post a Comment