I love when I hear people talking about relationships being 50/50. As far as I know, putting 50% of yourself into anything is not going to give you the best return. This seems to be common sense. Or better yet when people say that it should be 100/100. This sounds so nice and "proper". It also sounds like Disney to me!
The idea behind the 100/100 is great, but flawed. I like to think of one of the most rewarding relationships - my kids. Guess what? Any mom knows that you put 100% in almost every day and you DO NOT get 100% back. So, why are we okay with this and why are these relationships still the most rewarding for us?
This is partly because we don't generally expect much at all from our children. It is also due to the old adage that it is better to give than to receive. Although we may give everything we have to our children and expect very little in return.....these are still the best and most rewarding relationships that most people will ever experience.
So, here is my question......why do we not look at marriage in the same way? Why do we expect our spouse to give 50% or 100% to us? Why do we not give the same 100% to our spouses expecting NOTHING in return? Think about that for a minute........
Why do we get upset with our spouses? Usually this is due to them not doing something that we think they should or vice versa. So, how would your marriage look if you gave your all with NO expectations of what you would receive in return?
I live by a concept that is very pertinent in certain areas of my family. "Do not put expectations on people because then they can't let you down". What if we do this at home. Give your all selflessly and without expectation.
I am not saying it will be easy or even enjoyable.....at first! But I do trust that Christ is an example that can always be followed and this is exactly what He did. He gave all without expectations from us! Start giving all in your marriage without expectation for thirty days and see what happens!
I believe that marriage is ordained by God and that He has a purpose for it. I also believe that it is the greatest playground for the devil to wreak havoc! It is time that we set down our expectations and things we feel that we deserve and start putting our spouses first and trusting God with the results!
The idea behind the 100/100 is great, but flawed. I like to think of one of the most rewarding relationships - my kids. Guess what? Any mom knows that you put 100% in almost every day and you DO NOT get 100% back. So, why are we okay with this and why are these relationships still the most rewarding for us?
This is partly because we don't generally expect much at all from our children. It is also due to the old adage that it is better to give than to receive. Although we may give everything we have to our children and expect very little in return.....these are still the best and most rewarding relationships that most people will ever experience.
So, here is my question......why do we not look at marriage in the same way? Why do we expect our spouse to give 50% or 100% to us? Why do we not give the same 100% to our spouses expecting NOTHING in return? Think about that for a minute........
Why do we get upset with our spouses? Usually this is due to them not doing something that we think they should or vice versa. So, how would your marriage look if you gave your all with NO expectations of what you would receive in return?
I live by a concept that is very pertinent in certain areas of my family. "Do not put expectations on people because then they can't let you down". What if we do this at home. Give your all selflessly and without expectation.
I am not saying it will be easy or even enjoyable.....at first! But I do trust that Christ is an example that can always be followed and this is exactly what He did. He gave all without expectations from us! Start giving all in your marriage without expectation for thirty days and see what happens!
I believe that marriage is ordained by God and that He has a purpose for it. I also believe that it is the greatest playground for the devil to wreak havoc! It is time that we set down our expectations and things we feel that we deserve and start putting our spouses first and trusting God with the results!
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