I feel like a load of laundry. Some days I feel like I am drowning. Then I go through the back and forth, back and forth, back and forth roller coaster of crazy emotions. I feel tossed up and down, around and around and then all concepts of space and time seem to fade. Then there is the “spin cycle”. Feeling wrung out, twisted and squeezed until there is barely air to breathe. Have you been there? If not, you are so blessed. If so, I am so, so sorry that you ever had to experience this.
You see, grief in the midst of tragedy stuns our senses. Then it sends us into a world of disbelief followed closely by a strange twilight existence where you see yourself going through the movements of daily life, yet there are no emotions. You learn to crave your bed. The quiet and solace is often comforting all while being exhausting and terrifying.
I believe we go through these crazy cycles and emotions because we were created for so much more. We were created for perfection, yet in this sinful world we always fall short. Our perfectly created bodies do not know how to handle such hard and raw emotions that God never intended for us to deal with. We weren’t created for death, pain, grief, and heartache. We were created for perfection and anything short of that causes such extreme emotions, that our body tries to figure out what to do with it all and finally gives into the massive grief.
There is only one way out of the cycle. Jesus! The pain will remain, but He will comfort you like no other. The sadness will be present at the loss, but He will return joy to your soul. The grief will still overtake you often, but He will heal your soul. The loss will still be felt EVERY day, but HE reminds us that because of Him, this is not the end!
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